Evan

“Baseball is the president tossing out the first ball of the season. And a scrubby schoolboy playing catch with his dad on a Mississippi farm. …


“There’s a man in Mobile who remembers that Honus Wagner hit a triple in Pittsburgh 46 years ago — that’s baseball. And so is the scout reporting that a 16-year-old sandlot pitcher in Cheyenne is the coming Walter Johnson.


“In baseball, democracy shines its clearest. The only race that matters is the race to the bag. The creed is the rule book. And color, merely something to distinguish one team’s uniform from another’s.


“Baseball? Just a game — as simple as a ball and bat. And yet, as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes.”

-Ernie Harwell-

Given the recent news discussions regarding off-season baseball transactions, I felt it was necessary to make my stance known:

If the Detroit Tigers trade Curtis Granderson this off-season, I will withdraw my allegiances to this organization for a minimum of one year. I will not attend any games, I will not willingly observe any broadcast, I will not actively take part in anything affiliated with the Tigers organization.

That is all.

With the minutes I have to spare these days, I thought I would enlighten everyone on what has been quite literally, the most intense academic week of my life. Period.

I started med school last friday, but it honestly feels more like a month ago given the amount of information I've accumulated already.

So here's a fun little thing I decided to do entitled:

"You know you're in med school when..."

... your ENTIRE day has been spent learning in some capacity.
... you spend more time with dead bodies than you do with live bodies (outside of school of course)
... you haven't watched any form of TV in a week.
... you haven't shaved in a week.
... you haven't showered in a couple days.
... you are perfectly capable of discussing your favorite food dishes with colleagues amid the stench formaldehyde and decomposing tissue of the cadaver lab.
... your exercise for the day consists of walking between buildings with a backpack containing three books of more than 1000 pages each.
... you run countless anatomical facts through your brain as you lie in bed trying to sleep, and the moment you "wake up" in the morning your brain continues the same process...prompting you to ask yourself "Did I actually ever fall asleep?"
... the greatest moment of the day is the first bite you take of your Jimmy John's sandwich you have for dinner....for dinner EVERY night of the last week.
... 6:00 becomes exciting simply for the fact that the parking garages are open to the public and you can drive over to the "luxurious" Law Library to study for the rest of the night.
... your 10-15 minutes spent in your car every day feel so relaxing you almost consider purposely getting yourself lost just so you can avoid the inevitability of more studying that awaits you regardless of your actual destination.

I have my first exam this coming Thursday. The material covered on the exam will go right up to the day before the exam, which means I literally have to get at least one day ahead on all my studying if I want ANY chance to "review" for the exam the day before.

I'm scared shitless.
But excited also.

But mainly I'm just tired....

Unfortunately I let too much time go by again since my last "Life update", so the best I can do this time is just let the fingers run wild and hopefully some form of coherent information is produced.

So I graduated from college a second time...I guess that should be exciting or something, but it really isn't. It'll be hard for me to ever think of this past year as anything more than a waste of time (and a shit-load of money), but at least I feel a little more validated as an engineer now...for whatever that's worth.

I'm struggling mightily to get my research published...I was working in a lab for over two years on one project, and it's still been a challenge making a coherent manuscript to submit to a journal. I should have had this done well over a month ago, but now I'm not sure if it'll ever get off the ground... frustrating to say the least. The worst is that I feel like the post-doc that is helping me with it is trying to dance around the issue because she doesn't want to tell me how truly awful the project is and how little chance it has for being accepted to a journal. I wish she would just be honest and tell me it's not gonna happen, that way I can at least get it off my mind and move on.

So it's like 99% official that i'm going to msu. I've already registered for my summer class and I've already signed an apartment lease, so basically i'm committed now. It's really been tough dealing with rejection from Wayne State a second time through... I felt like I had improved myself a good amount, and considering how much I expressed my level of committment to their institution, I felt like I would be in a much better position this time around. Don't get me wrong, MSU will be good as well...considering the type of work I want to do, it might actually be a better option than wayne. But if i find out i wanna do surgery or some area like that later on, i'm probably going to be at a disadvantage at msu. Worst of all is I'd like to think that the whole DO vs MD thing doesn't bother me...but it does. I don't want to have to go through my entire professional career trying to convince people that I'm just as valid of a physician as an MD. I don't want to have that big chip on my shoulder while trying to be the best doctor I can be. I guess I could use it as motivation in a way...to show people that I'm as good as or better than many MD's...but honestly I don't want to have that in my thought process. I'm sure this feeling will diminish, if not completely pass, as I progress through my schooling and into residency...but for now it's just something I have to deal with.

My car died....yes, ECTO 1 (as some of you affectionately call it) has had it's last hurrah...at least with me. I was up in Lansing about three weeks ago looking at apartments, and the transmission blew on me. Some of you may recall the same thing happened to me two years ago...costing me more than I care to remember to fix. Well, after two solid weeks of deliberating and politicking with roughly five different repair shops, I decided to cut my losses and run. Instead, I am now the proud lessee of a 2007 Pontiac G6. As many of you know, I've never been in the possession of a new car....hell, I've never had a car less than 12 years old. I'm still adjusting to all the modern comforts and amenities that come with modern cars, but it's definitely not a bad thing. Though, I am going to miss the ample room that the wagon offered...and who could honestly say they're happy to lose reverse bench seats in the trunk?? Such an engineering marvel was so before it's time...

The worst part about the whole car fiasco was the lost time. At least two weeks of my precious vacation before med school was swallowed up in the mess. Now I sit here, two and a half weeks left before the start of the rest of my life, and with very little of my "list o' things to accomplish over break" completed. Making up for lost time is going to be difficult, but hopefully I can salvage enough of the time I have left to be satisfied with how I spent my vacation. It's funny to think back to half a year ago when I was scheming all these grand plans for how to spend my time off...New Zealand.... Mexico....and now it looks like the best I'll do is a trip to baltimore and a few days at my cottage. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it's just that the things I once thought were going to be quite possible are now completely impossible...at least for now. I'm sure I'll get to travel some day...in fact I won't be able to live with myself if I never make it to NZ, but I just wish I had the chance to do more by this point in my life. It's discouraging, but I know I just have to be patient.

It's funny how part of me feels like I've reached the end of a chapter in my life now that I'm done with UofM, and especially because of the enormous life change so near now. Another part of me can't really place such a stringent dividing line on this phase of my life. The way I see it, there is always going to be a good amount of spill over from one phase to the next for me. I'm horrible at adjusting to big changes, and having old ties to fall back on is the only way I can make those kinds of transitions comfortably. I guess it's a type of fear I've always had...but I think the fact that I'm making these big changes, at least in terms of my academic/career choices, without outside provocation is a step in the right direction. I'm sure before too long I'll be able to reflect happily on my decisions in this regard. I may have to remove the safety lines at my own pace, but at least I made the leap.

Enough with the theatrics...I think this post is sufficient for now. Anyone interested in hanging out before I shove off to medical boot camp feel free to get ahold of me.

Oh, and go Tigers :D

Virginia Tech victims

I knew Kevin Granata

Not personally, but I had a small amount of communication with him by email about a year ago in regards to my lab research. His research was closely related to my work and the work done by our entire lab. He was a good friend of my advisor, Dr. Dan Ferris, and they collaborated a great deal in each other’s work.

Dr. Ferris emailed our lab to inform us that he was one of the victims in yesterdays shooting. It was an incredible shock, but it didn’t really sink in until after seeing the above article, seeing his picture, and reading about him. I really didn’t quite know how to react…I honestly still don’t. I never knew the man personally, yet this small amount of personal connection made the tragedy infinitely times more real to me. I sat at my computer in my lab for what was probably 30 minutes before I could really even attempt to get any work done. During that time my mind whirled through a lot of things, and part of the time I was self-reflecting on how I’ve dealt with national tragedies like this in the past. I remember Columbine vividly, I remember the Columbia shuttle disaster well, and of course hurricane Katrina and 9/11… but in every case I had no direct connection to anyone personally affected. While all these events had some level of impact on me, small and large, I was never struck as deeply by these events (with exception to 9/11) as I have been now. I thought to myself “I actually spoke with someone who was shot and killed…probably face to face with his killer…I knew a man who met his ultimate demise at the hand of a student at his institution.” These kinds of thoughts, for whatever reason, have really affected me…but I can’t figure out in what way I have been affected. I don’t feel any one particular emotion, but the best I can describe it as is just shock. Part of it may be the fact that I know my advisor was a close friend with this man, and thinking about how I may feel and react if I was in his position…losing a friend like that…it’s hard to even envision.
I’ve also been very struck by how fast and how much information has been made available already about what transpired and, even more shockingly, how much is already known about the killer. As fellow LJ friends have even posted links to this person’s screenplays and short stories, it’s more than I choose to learn at this point in time, but nevertheless I can’t help but be shocked by what I have been able to learn. For whatever reason, I feel like there was not nearly this much information available about the two killers at Columbine so soon after the shootings, or even much later. Within a day of all of this I already know where he grew up, his parents occupation, how and where he acquired the firearms, and personal accounts of his reclusive personality both in college and back home among others. Not to mention the detailed biographies about each of the victims. Removing yourself from the horror of these events, you can almost marvel at how easily and with such detail we are informed about current events now. Incidents like these make it very apparent how small the world has become in terms of communication.

To anyone who may actually be interested, I promise a thorough life update once exams are over. Until then, I’ll leave this entry on a happy note [and one of very very few things keeping me happy these days]…It’s baseball season :)

"Doth thine eyes deceive me?!? The prophecy was true! He has posted!!!" -- Random imaginary medieval web surfer

It's recently come to my attention that I haven't had a real serious "life update"-type of post since back in May or thereabouts..so I'm going to do my best to summarize the last half-year of my life for you now. I can't say for sure what will come of it, but rest assured there's a prize involved if you read through to the end!

So the struggle to move on with my life post-undergrad has been a constant source of suffering for many many moons. I was wait-listed at Wayne state med school in April and didn't find out officially that I had been rejected until July 31st. I was basically incapable of making any sort of plans for the next year of my life until I finally got word of the rejection, and honestly I was so drained from the agonizing wait that I would have probably been just as indifferent about finding out even if I had been accepted. With that bit of news I was finally able to start making some set plans again. I decided to continue with school for the time being by enrolling in a 1-year masters program at UofM in biomed engineering. It's not nearly as great as it may sound to some of you, believe me, but it's at least keeping me from being totally stagnate in life.

The summer for me was basically a repeat of last summer, for better or for worse. I continued working in the biomechanics lab that I had been working in since last May, but this time I was getting paid by my professor directly resulting in a depressing cut to my paycheck, but allowing me to be more free in my work hours. I spent a lot more time up north which was great, and also worked on all my re-applications for med school. This time around I made sure to get things done a little sooner. I also looked into osteopathic med schools (DO instead of MD). For those of you not familiar, it's virtually the same as an MD but teaches certain things with a different approach. You see it normally in primary care, which is what I plan on going into.

Oh and as a sidenote, the Detroit Tigers basically made me the happiest person on earth this summer. I know I don't need to go into details, so suffice it to say that they were my escape from an otherwise depressing period of time in my life. I can't be more thankful for having a baseball team to be proud of after more than two decades of patiently standing by and hoping for the future. It looks like that future has finally arrived, and if only for this past summer. I can at least die happy now knowing that I had at least one year that I could be proud of my team....but I digress...

So eventually school started and I moved to a new apartment (4th time in as many years). It's been a very pleasant surprise thus far at this place, and hopefully it stays that way. School has for the most part been retarded, though. I feel like I'm just biding my time, not learning much of anything... hopefully that changes next semester, but regardless I don't see myself getting a whole lot out of this program. I can see now why it's not that popular of an option for people to do this 1-year thing in place of a normal 2-year grad program....oh well I guess.

In happier news though, and probably the highlight of this entire ridiculous post...::drum roll:: I got accepted to a med school. MSU's Osteopathic med school (so their DO school)...I'm still waiting to hear something from Wayne state and MSU's MD school, but even so it's a gigantic weight off my mind. Roughly two years of mental anguish waiting for some kind of validation for my efforts and finally I get something. I'm sure I'd be happy in that program if nothing comes of the other two schools. It felt pretty comfortable during my visit, so I hope that bodes well for the future.

And with that I believe you are all now up to speed in the life of I. Hopefully you've refrained from gouging out your eyes during all that. My sincerest apologies to any of you physically or mentally harmed by the above text as it was not my intention to do so. Please direct any comments or concerns to the following:

How's my writing?
1-800-RET-ARDE-D




....oh and there is no prize. You lose.

I know if I'm not searching for it, I'll find it...

but that's impossible if I'm always searching...

frustration




In other news: School saddens me, so I've gone to South Bend, IN for the weekend. Viva azul

smells like dirty carpet....

Tigers win in dramatic fashion...makes me feel warm and fuzzy

Tigers players and their wheels:

Todd Jones = GMC Envoy
Curtis Granderson = Chevy Trailblazer [I wish he was my older brother]
Jamie Walker = Ford F-250 super tricked out American flag sticker on rear window [threatened to run over people that were in front of him.]
Placido Polanco = Range Rover super pimped out
Craig Monroe = Range Rover tricked out
Magglio Ordonez = Mercedes Benz S550 (uber sleek)
Carlos Guillen = Range Rover
Fernando Rodney = SUV of some kind can’t remember
Vance Wilson = Chevy Avalanche

Jim Leyland = Bad ass walking home w/family entourage

Twas an all-around glorious evening....